The survivor line stuck with me. Even though I moved on, and on and on, I can still remember that first “punch”in the pit of my stomach. I know that being of “strong stock”got me through that one and all the other punches. The survivor story became my mantra.

I continued my life as a survivor:   working hard, paying my bills on time, striving to be a good person, loving family and friends. I didn’t always make the right decisions or the best decisions but I was doing well.

A few years ago, someone said to me in a totally pleasant nothing-to-do-with-goals conversation, “You know that we were put on Earth to thrive not just survive.”  Yikes, OK, let me think about that. All these years I was looking at surviving as something positive but now I’m thinking..maybe not so much. My old philosophy was keep your head down, work hard, then life will be good. And it has been but I realized that surviving just isn’t going to cut it anymore. I wanted to do more than just survive…I want to thrive. But how to do that?

I started getting better and better jobs making more money because I realized I could do it. Pretty simple isn’t it?Interesting the limits we put on ourselves. In my old way of thinking I would never even apply for some jobs. But with a goal of thriving in every aspect of my life things changed. I knew I had the qualifications and the work ethic and realized I could do whatever I set my mind to do. I carried that philosophy into every aspect of my life.

Pattie’s  Points: Make a list of the different places you limit yourself.  Mark the places where you been surviving. What are some things you can do to change your survival mode to a thriving one?

Then I had an epiphany. The more I resisted the music the more it bothered me. Why was I making this person wrong for playing music? My rustling of the paper and giving teacher looks didn’t stop it. So I decided to just send love in that direction. I didn’t have an ulterior plan about stopping the music or making the person feel bad. I was just sending love and accepting the situation. With that I could totally go back to reading the paper without being distracted. Here’s the thing! A few minutes later I picked my head up from the paper to look at something out the window and it took me a moment to realize that the music was turned off and all was quiet.

I thought about times when little things irked or bothered me that I resisted, tried to fix, or change. Now I have a new way of handling it. It’s a way that doesn’t drain me of any energy. Just send love at it, whatever it is that’s upsetting you. It’s the negative energy of resisting something that causes an upset.

Pattie’s Points: How about you? Ever had a situation present itself that you wished you could change. Something that got under your skin? What did you do? Let me know how your action worked for you.

The next event was a first sprint triathlon Sunday, May 16. This triathlon was the first one I ever did two years ago. I was so looking forward to this one because I missed it last year. My friend, Jean, was racing with me and that made it even better. We were concentrating on getting in as much swimming as we could and I was getting a new bike. One just like my friend has. Exciting, since I know my bike time will be better and so will my overall time. Yep, I was proud of myself. I was eating right, swimming, biking, lifting weights. It was going to be a great day.

I was off to pick up my new bike the morning of May 10. In a moment everything changed. I fell off the bike and landed on my elbow:  Dislocated elbow was fixed in the emergency room, two plates and six screws in elbow and ulna fixed in surgery two days later, PT  now to get arm back to full use.

What changed in that moment? Everything!

• I couldn’t do anything for myself. I was completely dependent on my husband to help me with everything. Never mind the pain….
• I was petrified that I would not get full use of my arm again.

Those are the negative things that happened but as usual the positive outcomes far outweighed the negatives. These are some of my insights.

• I have a first hand knowledge of how people feel not having or not having the use of an arm. I have even more compassion for them and respect for the things they can accomplish.
• The realization that I could not do the things I usually do made me commit to always do what I said I would do. Something as small as saying I’m not getting up to run or swim because it’s too dark or I’m tired isn’t part of my modus operandi these days.
• I keep my word to others but I realized that I don’t keep my word to myself. So in every aspect of my life I keep my word to myself.
• I always have treasured and loved and revel in the joy of my family and friends and all the opportunities that life sends my way. I can’t quite explain it but it’s different now…it’s much, much, much more of the same.
• I’m so blessed by the people who love me.
• I don’t let the little stuff get blown out of proportion.

In a moment, everything changed…for the better!

PS: If at all, this is how my family would like me to bike!

Pattie’s Points: How has your life changed in a moment? Was it a negative or positive event? Write down all the positive things that happened because of that event. Let me know how your life changed.

Last Sunday in at the BAA 5K I did it! I ran over the finish line and thought, “Wow, I can do anything all I have to do is set my goal. Could life be that easy?” I didn’t know my time and as it turned out it was my slowest 5K run time ever. At first I was disappointed but then I realized that I didn’t have “improve my time” as part of my goal. It’s a goal for the next 5K.

That day, April 18, I became a believer of setting goals, really. In the past, I set goals but I never SET goals. My awareness of the success of setting goals was low. Some would happen and some would not. Setting the goal is the first step. You have to believe that it is doable and then take the necessary action or actions to make it happen. Stay focused and it will happen. Think about what is possible in every aspect of life:  health, business, relationships, whatever you want to achieve.

My next 5K is May 1. Stay tuned!

What goals have you set? What were your results? What have you learned about setting goals? How will you use goals in the future?

A phrase that my Dad often said was: “Aim for the stars and you’ll get the moon.” My Dad was all about aiming high and setting high goals. His other pet expression was to “Plan your work and work your plan.” It goes hand in hand with reaching for the stars! You have to take the action if you want to achieve your goals.

As I reflect back on my life I can see the effect of my Dad’s words and his influence. I never wanted to have any regrets about a career or path in life that I didn’t take. So I changed course, changed goals, many times in my career and personal life. Through it all I would think of my Dad and I would reach for the stars. All the goals I set and the paths I chose,  the people I met, different events that happened all touched me and contributed to the person I am today. Wondering what’s next in my life lights me up! What new goals will I set to reach the stars?

I’m reaching for the stars again as a  career/life coach and motivational speaker.

I’m reaching for the stars again as a runner and sprint triathlete.

I’m reaching for the stars in my personal life: making sure I am loving and supportive to my husband, my family, and my friends.

I’m reaching for the stars in my community service.

How have your goals changed? How are you reaching for the stars? What high goals have you set?

It’s like the old adage: How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice!

Not only am I in awe of these athletes but  their commitments to persistence and perseverance can be used as a motivator. Notice how each person is focused on their goal and practices The persistence necessary to win a golf tournament or a gold medal can be modeled by us for our own goals. What actions will it take to get a job, a raise, start your own business?  The commitment to persistence to keep to your plan reflects how much you want it. You set a goal, make your plan, and then “Keep At It!”

My first set back working in the corporate world occurred after eight years on a job.  I was called into the office and without using the fired word was told I would no longer be employed. I walked out shaking and dazed. Then I went home and cried and cried. After all, I was single, had a mortgage, my Mom died a couple of years ago and my father died in the middle of my losing my job. I felt totally alone. Reality kind of slaps you in the face so I told myself that I would get in contact with five people everyday no matter what! It could be by phone or mail or telling everyone I knew that I was looking for a job. I did it. Some days I wanted no part of being on the phone, smiling into the phone, asking for a job, hoping for a job. I even told my mailman. Here’s the good part. I went to Mass everyday at a retreat house close to my work. I told the priests and nun that ran the retreat house what happened at my job. One of the priests knew someone at another publishing house. He gave me her name, I sent my resume, and the rest, as they say, is history. I got the job. Being persistent, persevering, keeping at it paid off.

As human beings we are all connected. Sometimes I picture us all connected by an underground maze of roots. People think their thoughts and their feelings are separate from the rest of the world. But that’s a delusion. We’re social human beings who want to be connected, valued, and loved by other people. The really wonderful thing is that we want to give the same connection, value, and love back to others!

What does it mean to be connected? Basically it’s a link, a sharing, a commonality between people. The people can be in a family, friends, a relationship, a club, a religion. They are the people who communicate and share thoughts, words, feelings, and, in some manner, parts of their lives.

The word connections can be particularly evocative.

It can evoke pleasant memories.

It can evoke the knowledge that you have an unconditional advocate.

It can evoke security around a job.

It can evoke laughter when you are with friends.

It can evoke love when you are together or alone.

It can evoke sadness when you lose it.

What are the benefits of having connections? The list is long but it definitely includes love, laughter, stress buster, support, back up, inspiration, even a new job!

What are your connections?  How have your connections affected your health?  What are some ways you can broaden your circle of connections? How can you make stronger connections?

My A Healthy You workshop is all about doing what works for you.

After discussing the effects of stress we had fun naming the best stress busters. My favorites included a manicure, a pedicure, and a massage. Meditation is, a walk in nature were some of the other favorites.

I talked about AIM SMART and explained how to design a workable goal with a plan to succeed. Everyone left with some idea of what they might do for their health and a great recipe for a tasty green smoothie! My thanks to all the wonderful, inspiring women who attended.

What goals do you have to be healthy? Decide what works for you and not anyone else.

Here are some tips to keep you motivated.

1. Read something you like about health every day. It doesn’t have to be long.
2. Focus on doing on small thing you like for your nutrition or exercise.
3. Whatever you decide just stick to the one thing and do it for 21 days.
4. Then chose another thing you like to do!

Need help?

If you have a group or know of another group that would benefit from this workshop please contact me.

If you need some coaching around your healthy goals email for more information.

Looking in the mirror the person reflected is the sum of all the choices made and all the choices still being made. Choices might include: I choose to take care of my health.  I choose to read and study a variety of topics.  I choose to be inquisitive and open minded. I choose to be kind, polite, non-judgmental, compassionate, and forgiving.

Awareness is the first step of self-knowledge. Becoming aware of one’s choices helps a person make a choice and see the effect of that choice. I can make a choice to get up early and go swimming and make a choice to quit my job. Both those choices help me be healthier and happier.

Going forward I make more and more choices but with an even greater awareness. Do I choose action? Do I choose forgiveness? Do I choose to do the right thing? Every choice I make is reflected in the face I see in the mirror.

PR     Pattie’s Coaching Points

• Be aware of the choices you make in one day. Reflect on how they affect your day and your future. What do you choose?

1. Credentials Make sure the coach is certified. Certification should be from a professional school that is accredited by the International Coaching Federation (ICF). The ICF is the organization that sets and monitors the international standards for professional coaching ethics, training, and practices.

2. References Ask for references and be sure the references are people who have been coached by your coach.

3. Experience Find out what the person’s background is and what his or her work and real-world experiences include. See if the experience matches your needs.

4. Methods and Style Ask the coach to explain his or her style. Look for an answer that includes clear, concise plans, procedures, and options.

5. Credibility Check out a coach’s other resources. Is there a website? Is there a blog? Does the coach do webinars? Give workshops?

6. Goals What are your goals? What do you want to accomplish? When you interview a coach talk about your goals and notice if you feel listened to and if you communicate well with each other. Ask about the time frame for achieving your goals.

7. Consultation If it’s not offered ask if there is a free 30 minute coaching session. This helps you determine if you like the coaching style and that there is good chemistry.

8. Fees Rates for coaches vary widely from $75 up to $500 an hour. Coaches usually recommend a three-month, once-a-week program in order to implement successfully changes that you, the client, want to achieve. All these plans and procedures work best if fitted to the client’s needs. Sometimes twice a month works better; sometimes you only need a month of coaching or sometimes more. The plan should always be centered around you and your goals. Make sure you know everything that is included. Some coaches include unlimited emails in between coaching calls and “emergency calls” in between scheduled calls. Other coaches also provide a reading list specific to you and your needs. Know exactly what you are paying for. Most of the coaching is done over the phone and you call the coach at the designated time. Check to make sure that this is how your coach works and if this work for you.

9. Guarantee Beware of coaches who promise you a new job at a six figure salary in a month. What you should see is forward progress towards achieving your goals. A good coach will also give you the option of opting out after one month if the coaching is not working to your advantage. A good coach will also recommend you check out another coach who might be more in tune with your needs.

PR   Rattie’s Coaching Points

1. Write out a list of questions. Make sure you address the points listed above.

2. Interview more then one coach.

3. Once you start working with a coach make sure your needs continue to be met.

Send me an email if you would like to interview me.